Lover Round (i-group Training)

Welcome the energy of the East, the direction of the Lover. Welcome the energy of new beginnings, of connection with beauty and the richness of the world. The color of the East is yellow, the color of the rising sun at the beginning of the day. The fear of the East is the fear of pain. The desire of the east is the desire for pleasure, and the emotions are love and hatred. The animal of the East is the song sparrow calling us to a new day. We welcome the energies and spirit of the East.

Lover Round Process:

Smudging.

  • Why do we smudge? (History of Smudging. http://www.aboutholistic.co.za/smudging.html )
  • What is the purpose of separating your present self with all that came from outside this space?
  • What are we saying to this person when they smudge in?
  • Why do we sit in silence afterwards and have a reflective moment?

Calling in the Ancestors.

  • What does each direction, their achetypes, the animal and color do to help us drop into our circle?
  • Why do we light candles or create other sounds such as a song, poem or beat a drum?

East.

Welcome the energy of the East, the direction of the Lover. Welcome the energy of new beginnings, of connection with beauty and the richness of the world. The color of the East is yellow, the color of the rising sun at the beginning of the day. The fear of the East is the fear of pain. The desire of the east is the desire for pleasure, and the emotions are love and hatred. The animal of the East is the song sparrow calling us to a new day. We welcome the energies and spirit of the East. HO!

South.

Welcome the energy of the South, the direction of the Warrior. Welcome the energy of service, of action in the world in service to the realm. The color of the South is red, the color of blood and of passion, the color of the heat of the noon-day sun. The fear of the South is the fear of losing control. The desire of the South is the desire for power, and the emotions are pride and anger. The animal of the South is the dog, the symbol of loyalty. We welcome the energies and spirit of the South. HO!

West.

Welcome the energy of the West, the direction of the Magician. Welcome the energy of introspection, going within to find the gifts of healing. The color of the West is black, like the darkness of our shadows. The desire of the West is the desire for order and virtue. The fear of the West is the fear of Abandonment, and the emotions are happiness and shame. The animal of the West is the Bear, that goes into the cave to hibernate, to seek within the darkness the gift of renewal. We welcome the energies and spirit of the West. HO!

North.

Welcome the energy of the North, the direction of the King. Welcome the energy of wisdom and blessing. The color of the North is white, the color of the hair of the elders. The desire is the desire for freedom and release, and the fear is the fear of Death. The emotions of the North are joy and sadness. The animal of the North is the Owl. We welcome the energies and spirit of the North. HO!

Up.

Welcome the energy of Sky Above, the masculine principle, the energy and spirit of inspiration. The color of the Above is blue and the animal is the eagle. Welcome the gifts of wind and sunshine, the creative energies, the desire for Truth and the emotion of compassion. We welcome the energies and spirit of Father Sky. HO!

Down.

Welcome the energy of Earth Below, the feminine principle, the energy and spirit of Generosity. The color of the Below is green and the animal is the deer. Welcome the gifts of nurture and support, the sustaining energies, the desire for abundant beauty and the emotion of gratitude. We welcome the energies and spirit of Mother Earth. HO!

In.

Welcome the energy of Within, the principle of wholeness, the energy and spirit of the mysterious. The color of this energy is Gold. Welcome the gifts of balance, oneness, and the connection with all things, for all things are one and all things are related. The animal within is the human being, the desire is for serenity and the emotion is humility. We welcome the energies and spirit of Within. HO!

Everywhere.

Welcome the spirits of our grandfathers, our ancestors, those who have gone before us, and on whose shoulders we stand. Welcome the spirits of the children yet to come, who will stand upon our shoulders. Invite into this circle the spirit and energy of those who guide, protect, and bless us to be fully who we are. HO!

Huddle Up, Arms Around Each Other: Call in any family or ancestors or spirits that any man would like to in order to complete the circle, missing brothers, family, the sick.

Lover checkin.

  • Say your name.
  • Animal name if you have one.
  • Where you were initiated if you were.
  • What was your High or Low of this last week.
  • Present emotion.
  • Withhold Round: What I don’t want you to know about me.

What is it you are sitting with right now?   There are 5-core feelings (MKP): mad, sad, glad, fear, and shame.

  • Are there any things you are sitting with that made you sad or lonely?
  • Are there any things you are sitting with that made you angry?
  • Are there any things you are sitting with that you make you feel shame around?
  • What are the things you are sitting with that you really enjoyed and made you happy?
  • Who do you remember that if they were here now you would like to thank or bless?

Lover

I stand here in the energy of the Lover. I am the love that joins us together. My isolation and loneliness keep only the company of my sadness and grief. My being is about connection: our connection to ourselves, our connection to our truth, our connection to our lives. I love new beginnings, optimism, enjoyment, and play. I want more joy and more connection. My appreciation of all things brings me this connection and joy. I will not let you be alone or abandoned. I am the connection of love.

The Golden Lover archetype supports the world.

The direction of the Lover is the East.

The feeling of the Golden Lover is sadness from the realities of the love and death.

The Golden Lover feels the world, doesn’t think about the world.

Motto of the Golden Lover: “Be in connection with the abundant beauty and richness of the world.”

The Golden Lover desires pleasure.

Additional descriptive words for the Golden Lover, find a context that fits for you, include;

Compassionate, empathetic, caring, nurturing, sincere, vulnerable…

I know my Golden King is supporting me when I bless; when I’m feeling connected to my higher power, calm and firm, remaining clear that I am open to seeking input from my court.

The Shadow Lover archetype sabotages the world.

A nickname for the Shadow Lover is Wounded Lover.

Motto of the Shadow Lover: “Start leisure today; start anything productive tomorrow.”

The feeling of the Wounded Lover is sadness to the point of always being a victim.

The Wounded Lover feels good pleasure to the point of addiction with food, alcohol, sex, drugs & love.

The Wounded Lover starts with idolization and love, and eventually moves to demonization and hate.

The Wounded Lover needs more connection – because he believes in the scarcity mentality.

The Shadow Lover avoids any pain; pain is bad.

The Shadow Lover is the original victim and to keep that story alive he always helps you more than you help him.

Additional descriptive words for the shadow Lover, find a context that fits for you, include: abandoner, dependent, loathing, manipulative, martyr, rescuing, seducer, selfish, shameful, smothering…

I know my Shadow King is sabotaging me when I intimidate or belittle, verbally emotionally, or intellectually; or blame – I’m making sure that it’s your fault, not mine! Or shaming, now off with your head, overpowering and unbending.

Archetypes:

What are the archetypes and why do we use them in our MKP i-group meetings?

A book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, by Jungian psychologist Robert Moore and mythologist Douglas Gillette. Moore argues that masculinity is made up of four archetypal male energies which serve different purposes. All men, whether born in the U.S. or Africa, are born with these archetypal energies. The authors argue that to become a complete man, a man must work to develop all four archetypes. The result of striving to become complete is a feeling of manly confidence and purpose.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover was originally published in 1990, and it has had a pretty big influence on masculinity in America. It, along with Robert Bly’s book, Iron John: A Book About Men, kick-started the mythopoeic men’s movement of the early 1990s. During this time, many men in America started attending men’s groups and weekend retreats where they would take part in rites of passage and discuss ancient myths to gain personal insights about what it means to be a man. You can still see the influence of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover in books like Wild at Heart or weekend men’s retreats like The ManKind Project.

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