The man clearing says something like, “I have a charge with Bob. Bob, will you support me and be the mirror for my clearing? Fred, will you facilitate?”
The Facilitator tells the Mirror: “Are you clear this is not about you? You are acting as a mirror to assist this person’s process. Set your shield to protect yourself here. Deflect this man’s projections and only allow in that which fits for you. Let me know when your ready.”
The Facilitator tells the Chargee: “Do you understand that this isn’t about this person here? He is acting as a Mirror for something that you need to see inside of you. This is about you. Do you get that?
What is the Data? Objective reality. The Facts. What I saw. What I heard. Forensic information only is the goal here. What would be captured on a video camera? Watch for judgments inserted as Data.
What Judgments do you have about this person’s actions? What Judgments do you have about this sort of behavior? Often a man will describe behaviors (you interrupt others, you do not respect me, you do not speak clearly, etc.). Getting from “doing” phrases to “judgments” as adjectives about the Mirror gives him awareness about what triggers these strong emotions. Continue to drill down with the question of “What type of person does this?” to get to single word adjectives (e.g. you are selfish, etc.). The goal is to focus on what judgments they have about the Mirror.
What Feeling(s) does this bring up for you? Work with the Chargee until they are congruent with the feeling at whatever level and intensity they exist inside. Watch for Judgments inserted as Feelings. If they say they are feeling something but show no energy, tell them to express their feeling directly at the Mirror. Ask them what their feeling wants to say to the Mirror. If the feeling is especially intense for them, they may choose to look more closely at where all that energy is coming from using the Bucketing Process preferably later during the work round to keep it separate from the clearing.
Origins of feelings and judgments: Ask: “Who is (selfish, irresponsible, been late, not kept their word, shamed, abandoned, etc. Key words from their judgments) before you now? Who was the first one that did ________ to you? Who might Bob be representing for you here? Usually Dad, Mom, some person.
Ownership of the Shadow Now: Where in your life today do you do this same thing? (are late, not keep your word, shame, abandon, etc. Same words as judgments. And who with?
Withdraw the Projection: Give the Chargee an opportunity to own and withdraw his projections from the Mirror. Optional question that doesn’t have to be asked.
What does the Chargee want for himself? Now that you see all this, what do you want for yourself here? Anything else?
What does the Chargee want for their relationship with the Mirror.
- “What do you want for your relationship with this person going forward?”
- “Are you clear that you may not get it from this man?”
- “If you get what you are asking for, what will you have that you really want?”
- “Are you clear that you may be able to crate that for yourself independent of what this man does?”
Are you complete?